another blog beginning where i am sorta drunk and really happy about it

only this time i'm not coming home from a party at 1:15am. this time it's 9:31pm, i've spent the majority of the evening crying and i'll be sleeping any second... aaahhh the joys of restarting teaching after the winter break. right now it seems that most (if not all) of my students have regressed to their pre-break behaviors. today i had a student rip a cork board off the wall and throw it behind a table because ... because... wow i can't even remember why, that's bad. also today, and every other day, i have a student who everytime i ask him nicely or within reason to do something (give me the chain you're swinging around, stop running up and down the closet, move your clip down), he retorts with "I HATE THIS STUPID TEACHER!!" now this might just be a way of showing anger, and he might just do it to all authority figures.... but it can really break a person's spirits - that person being me who spends 6 hours a day trying to make 19 kids not beat each other up (which has happened on several occaisions) and learn a little.

the only minor progress i've made on the list is possibly selling my car to a coworker - which would make life so much easier and amazing. and i did have a minor long distance relationship going with a girl i met here in SF who was living in CT. i went to spend a weekend with her at the end of my time at home (spending extra time to see her imparticular) and i haven't heard anything from her since - pretty awesome huh.

on postives i have started going to yoga, hiking and indoor rock climbing. ha at least i'll have a sore body to go with a sore heart and head.

i wish there was more. there isn't. any words, videos, songs, websites of inspiration and hope are welcomed. i used to be the supplier of these things and i feel really tapped out at the moment.